I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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