Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize
