New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
