she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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