If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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