Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
