Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
