yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
