Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
