i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
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