She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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