I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
