i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
