Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
