i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
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