i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
