no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
