I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
