I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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