I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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