I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
