bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You took a bar mat shot.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
