Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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