I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
