What did we do last night that was yellow?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
