we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
