Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
