I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
