it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
be right there i have to get my cape
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
