her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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