I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
