Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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