Got a toothbrush?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
