Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
