I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
