Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
