How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
