two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
