Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
