You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
