Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
