I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
