i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
