Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Randomize
