Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
