Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
