Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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