We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
