WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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