Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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