Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
